you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
