I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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