About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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