I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
