I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
