i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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