Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
