Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
