Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize