I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
