If i come over, it means nothing
I smell stomach acid.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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