Are we in a gay sports bar?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
