the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he wants to bone in the snuggie
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
