soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
