I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
