I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize