he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
