Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
