I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
