WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
It was confusing and full of hummus
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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