I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
