Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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