You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
