I wish I could punch you in the face.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
