Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
