How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
