Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We're too hungover to prance.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
