i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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