When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Randomize
