ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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