In the future we'll all be gay
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
