Do you still have your period?
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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