im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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