I don't usually arrange sex via text message
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
