there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I need moral support for this bender
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
