Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
