The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
