We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
