There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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