Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
