Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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