I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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