My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's never too late to be topless.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
