I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
