Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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