I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
