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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
