I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
