did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
