I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
