You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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