I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
