kristin has been a bad kristin
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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