My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
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