I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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