Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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