ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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