Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
