There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
