I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
