sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
