on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
