so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize