It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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