Im at strip club and am horny
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
