your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
