My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
