once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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