im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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