i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
