We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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