Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
