you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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