one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
