In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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