i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
